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Looking for something ... anything ... that would make sense.Something shifted out in the abyss."Hello?" I called out. I could hear the nerves in my voice.The darkness moved again, and a seated figure emerged.The chair was made of a black stone ... it looked like it was made of obsidian ... yet it was too perfect ... too formed to be real.But that wasn't what caught my attention ... it simply registered in the back of my head.No, what held my attention, was that the figure seated in that chair ... was myself ... which was impossible ... I could not sit across from myself.My doppelganger smiled.He looked different from the present me though. He was wearing one of my favorite suits ... yet he casually had a couple buttons undone ... something I never did. His face was thinner, and he filled out the suit much better than I currently did. It was almost like I was peering at a me that hit the gym every day.He held himself in such a confident manner I couldn't help but feel awed.In his. So, he walks out the front door, comes back in and says both. It’s moments like this that gets me wondering if I’m saving too much for college.Jenny’s friend Debbie was complaining about a sore throat. “So,” Jenny said, “When I have that I always give a blow job to my husband and the next day I’m better. You should try it.” Next day, Debbie comes in singing. “How did it go?” Jenny asks. “Brilliant,” says Debbie. “Your husband couldn’t believe it was your idea!”A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” she asks. “I think I’m having a heart attack,” cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son says, “Mommy, Mommy, Aunty Shirley is hiding in the closet and she has no clothes on!” The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband, rips.
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